thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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