some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
