He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
