The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
