this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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