marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize