i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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