Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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