No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Randomize