ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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