kristin has been a bad kristin
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
