i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
