Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
