Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
