Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
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