worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize