SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Farmville is her only friend.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im part way to drunk.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
