Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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