I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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