there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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