are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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