I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
