If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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