we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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