I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
