When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
