Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
