Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
