I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
