I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i now understand why vodka
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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