i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize