Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
