We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Randomize
