Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
