it wasn't lemon gatorade
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Randomize
