Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry about my life...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize