i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
