East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
