Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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