i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
