what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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