Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
