so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i drank out of a bidet.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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