Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
