everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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