"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
