She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize