Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize