just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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