This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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