I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
