did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize