His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
