I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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