I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Can I color on your dick again?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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