I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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