If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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