Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
