And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
