is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
