Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
