i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
