I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
