Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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