Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
that's an acceptable place to lick
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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