I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
