Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
