he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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